Lost in Lyon

Angela had her foot surgery on Friday and it went well. She doesn't appear to have any complications and it looks like it worked. She just got out of the hospital today so I've been keeping her company at the hospital the last couple of days. Well, yesterday she was tired and said she was going to take a nap. I said that's fine, I could get Emma her french tag at the store down the street and then I could get some lunch. This seemed like a good idea about, but about halfway down the street I said to myself, "Oh crap, you're probably going to have to ask somebody to make the tag for Emma." Just so everyone is clear, I speak virtually no French (I know basic phrases, and can maybe pick out a word here or there when a person responds). I decided I was going to try this anyway. Well, I walked around a little and deciphered that dog tags in France are known as "nom d'l chien" or something like that. So I went up to an employee and asked "Ou est le nom d'l chien, sil vous plais?" I was quite proud of myself, he brought me over to where they are and in bit of French and English I figured out that it would take 1 week for them to make. This store is kind of far from our house, so I decided it didn't make sense to drive across the city to come and pick up the dog tag in a week, so I politely tried to thanks him by saying "Merci beaucoup." However, I didn't know how to say, I don't want to buy it. So the scene played out something like this:

Me: "Merci beaucoup,"

Homme: Awkward silence as the man starred at me (4 or 5 seconds goes by)

Me: "um...I don't think I need it."

Homme: "Que?"

Me: "Un week est too long."

Homme: "Dacour" (man walks away)

I got away with one there, but not without embarrassment.

At this point I was pretty hungry and decided to go and find some lunch. I continued walking down the street I was on, but unfortunately it was all apartments. So I decided to make a right turn, which was also all apartments. I walked a few blocks and made another right turn, more apartment (for a country known for its food and restaurants they sure are hard to come by). After a while I made another right and a left because I started to see some places (a boulangerie, a patisserie, etc.). Before I knew it I was in a big plaza with tons of food. I walked into one patisserie/boulangerie but I they were out of sandwiches, I think, I wasn't exactly sure what the woman said, but I thought that's what it was, so I just turned and left, I hope she didn't ask me what I wanted or something. Well, I walked around the plaza and walked into a brasserie and asked the man, "Manger?" but unfortunately they were not serving food anymore because it was after 2pm, 5 minutes after 2. This is the French way, food only until 2 and then restaurants don't serve anymore. Apparently nobody in France ever has a problem in which they end up missing lunch. Anyway, le garcon told me "Boissons." I left and I finally found a patisserie/boulangerie with sandwiches. I got poulet and an eclair chocolat. I was very proud of myself because the woman asked me, "Vous voulez blanc, le chocolat ou le café." I actually understood what she meant, there were three different types of eclairs, vanilla, chocolate or coffee. I ordered my chocolate eclair, sat down and had a nice little lunch in Cour Lafayette.

I started to walk back to the hospital and decided to pick up some flowers for Angela, and I walked into a store that said "Fleurs." This was in fact a florist and I'm thinking alright, I'm getting the hang of this. No real problems in the florist, and I walked out with a red begonia in a pot. I began walking back to the hospital, or where I thought the hospital was, and this is the point I realized that Lyon is not laid out on a grid, my exact thought was, "Oh shit, where the hell am I?" I walked under some trains tracks, which I should have known not to do, since I hadn't walked under any earlier in the day. After getting turned around I found a map at a bus stop, which I apparently misread, and walked in the exact opposite direction of where I was going. After getting mediocre directions from a nice British couple, I ended up even further from where I was supposed to be. I walked up to a bus stop again to look at the map, but I couldn't find where I was or where I was going. I knew the hospital was on Boulevard de Stalingrad near Parc Tete D'Or. All I needed to do was find Stalingrad and walk towards the park. Standing at this stop were two elderly French men. I turned to them and said, "Excuse moi, ou est le Boulevard de Stalingrad?" To my surprise they understood me, unfortunately that is where the comprehension ended.

They started talking to me in French and quickly realized that I was only understanding about two or three words of what they said. Trying to communicate I finally figured out how to get to where I was going, then they started telling me which bus I need to take. I decided I needed to tell them that I was walking, but unfortunately I didn't know the word for walk was "marche." But I thought, no big D, it must be close to the Latin word (considering I had 8 years of Latin I thought I could do this). Thinking to myself, Latin don't fail me now, I remembered the word "to walk" in Latin was ambulare. I don't know why this seemed like a good idea in my head, but at the time it was the best idea in the world; I decided to make up a word for "walk," and that word was "ambulaire." Now, for those who don't speak French, this is not the word for "walk," it isn't even a word. Trying to inform them that I will be walking, I say "J'ambulaire." The looks on their faces cannot be described. Here, standing in front of them was a person that they thought was an American, making up words while holding I giant freakin' begonia. Finally, they understood when I pantomimed walking with my fingers. Well, I eventually found my way back to the hospital after about a 3 or 4km walk whilst holding a potted begonia. I told this story to Angela and she nearly crapped herself laughing. I, however, am slightly vindicated; the word "ambulatoire" means "ambulatory," which is kind of close to walk.

So, that was my day wondering around Lyon. What felt like the entire day was actually only about 1 hour and 15 minutes. The most annoying part is that the flower shop that I bought the begonia at was probably only 500 meters from the hospital. But a word to the wise, if walking in Lyon, remember the city is not on a grid.